Novelties, Jokes, & Gags

A very rare snapshot of the golden age of porn! Good luck paying attention to the game...   3 5/8 by 2 5/8 by 5/8 inches    Some wear to the box and some of the cards have some minor wear but otherwise complete vintage...

Perfect for lotion?   7.5 by 3.75 by 3.75 inches    Some wear and imperfections but does not affect its hilarity    Thank you for looking!

Won't be able to keep your eye off the ball...   Golf ball size 1.5 inch diameter    Some wear and marks but does not affect its hilarity    Thank you for looking!

Wonder what kind of fish that will catch...   Not meant to be used, just for jokes   Lure 2.25 by 1 by 1 inches  Box 5 by 1.75 by 1.75 inches   Some wear to the box but does not affect its hilarity    Thank you for looking!

For those very special occasions! Technically a boutonnier...   Multiple colors available! Not for use, just for jokes.   Corsage 4 by 3 inches Packaging 9 by 4.5 inches    Some wear to the packaging but does not affect its...

Better safe than sorry...   7 by 6 inches   Some wear to the packaging Never opened so I'm not sure of the state of what's inside. Still an awesome piece!   Thank you for looking!

Guaranteed to control sexual urges up to 6 hours...   When closed 5.25 by 2.5 by 1.5 inches   Some wear and tear and stains but does not affect its hilarity    Thank you for looking!

It's magic!   Packaging 8.25 by 4.75 inches   Not sure if it actually still grows but perfect for display! Some wear, tear, and staining to the packaging but does not affect its hilarity    Thank you for looking!

Sounds like a naughty version on the Hokey Pokey...   Closed card 4 3/8 by 3.75 inches   Some wear and tear but does not affect its hilarity    Thank you for looking!

For the little guys littler guy...   Card is 5.5 by 4.5 inches   Some wear and staining but does not affect its hilarity    Thank you for looking!

Keep your head down!   Box 1 5/8 by 1 5/8 by 1 5/8 inches   Some wear and the spacing between boobs varies but does not affect its hilarity    Thank you for looking!

He sure is horny!   Box is 3.75 by 3 by 1.75 inches   Some wear but does not affect its hilarity    Thank you for looking!

At least they waited until they were married...   Each is 6 by 5 by 1 inches   Some wear and staining but does not affect its hilarity. Box is more or less destroyed but will still be included.   Thank you for looking!

Watch your eyes on those things!   Made of wood   4.25 inches tall 2.25 inch diameter    Some minor wear but otherwise great vintage condition    Thank you for looking!

Popped up and ready to go!   Made of wood   5 inches tall 2 inch diameter    Some minor wear but otherwise great vintage condition    Thank you for looking!

Need a good man? Here he is!   Made of wood   4.25 by 1.5 by 1.25 inches   Some minor wear but otherwise great vintage condition    Thank you for looking!

Adam and Eve were made for each other...   Made of plastic   5.7Each statue is 7.5 by 2.25 by 2 inches   New old stock with some wear and minor imperfections   Thank you for looking!

I love all my friends...   Made of plastic   5.75 by 2 by 1.5 inches   New old stock with some wear and minor imperfections   Thank you for looking!

Right on is right!    Made of plastic   5 by 3 by 2 inches   New old stock with some wear and minor imperfections   Thank you for looking!

Does the soap actually sud? Not sure. But does it need to? Probably not...   Box 8.5 by 1.75 by 1.75 inches    Some minor wear to the box and soap but otherwise great vintage condition   Thank you for looking!

It's time for wacky races!   Box 4 by 4 by 4 inches  Car 3 by 3 by 3 inches    Some minor wear to the box and car but otherwise great vintage condition   Thank you for looking!

Hello ladies!   6 inches tall 4.5 inches wide with handle Cup only is 4.5 inches tall 3 inch diameter    Crazing and other imperfections throughout but still an awesome display piece   Thank you for looking!

For a secret image, just add water! Cup is plastic   Box 4.25 by 2.25 by 2.25   Some stains, wear, and tear to the box and some scratches on the cup but still a fun piece!   Thank you for looking!

Move her around and watch her dance!   The photo is lenticular so it changes when moved   Frame 7 by 5 inches    Some minor wear but otherwise great vintage condition    Thank you for looking!

The nude doll of your dreams! Still lights up!   Box 7.25 by 3 by 3 inches    The box is fairly worn and torn and is missing a flap. Doll's hair is a little messy but she still lights up!   Thank you for looking!

So nice to grip...   Box 8.5 by 2  by 7/8 inches  Screwdriver is 5.25 inches long   Some wear and tear to the box and some minor wear to the screwdriver but still an awesome piece!   Thank you for looking!

Big surprise from a little fellow...   Box 4.25 by 2 by 1 inches    Some wear and tear to the box. Also not sure if it works but still a fun display piece!   Thank you for looking!

Forget dick in a box! Here's dick in a cake...   Box 5.75  by 5.75 by 4.5 inches  Cake 5.75 inch diameter 4.5 inches tall    Some wear to the box and cake but still a fun pop up surprise    Thank you for looking!

Do you think it's kosher?   Box 3.5 by 3.5  by 1.5 inches    Some wear and tear to the box and some wear to the roll, also some of the hair is shedding. Still a funny collectible   Thank you for looking!

A monster for your monster   Not for use!   Box 2 by 1.5 by 1 inches    Some minor wear and part of the face is squished but does not affect its hilarity   Thank you for looking!

Nothing like a devil tongue...   Not for use!   Box 2 by 1.5 by 1 inches    Some minor wear but does not affect its hilarity   Thank you for looking!

The best way to really communicate your needs to each other   Box 9 by 8 by .75 inches Caps approximately 10 by 9 inches    Some wear, tear, and crushing to the box and some wear to the caps but does not affect its hilarity   Thank...

The most honest drinking glass...   Listing is for one glass   4 inches tall 3.25 inch diameter   Some very minor marks but all around great vintage condition   Thank you for looking!

1...2...3...69   Listing is for one glass   4 inches tall 3.25 inch diameter   Some very minor marks but all around great vintage condition   Thank you for looking!

Don't move, I'm jumping you either way   Listing is for one glass   4 inches tall 3.25 inch diameter   Some very minor marks but all around great vintage condition   Thank you for looking!

Who wouldn't want to hold on to these?   Pens do not work, just a fun display piece   Box 7.5 by 3 by 1 inches   Some wear to the box and some wear to the pens but does not affect its hilarity   Thank you for looking!

That's what I do too!   Comes in a plastic container    1.25 inch diameter    Some minor wear but does not affect its hilarity   Thank you for looking!

There are many ways to play cornhole...   Toy is 3.75 by 1.5 by 1.25 inches   Some wear and tear to the box but otherwise great working condition   Thank you for looking!

Don't worry, they stretch if you're too big to fit...   Box 5 by 5 by 1 inches   Probably not meant to be worn. Box has some wear and tear and there is a hole in the hose most likely from age.   Thank you for looking!

If you are someone looking for a humping wind up toy in missionary position, here it is!   3.75 by 1.5 by 1.25 inches   Some minor wear to the box but otherwise great working condition   Thank you for looking!

The farmer wind up toy absolutely no one asked for, here it is!   Box 3.75 by 3 by 1.25 inches   Some wear but otherwise great working condition    Thank you for looking!

Each card has a different sexy cartoon, a must have for your next strip poker night!   4 by 2.75 by .75 inches    Some wear and tear to the box and some of the cards have some minor wear but otherwise complete vintage...

Watch a monkey jerk off from the comfort of your own home, no more expensive zoo trips for you!   Box 6 by 3 by 3 inches   Some wear and crushing to the box but otherwise great condition   Thank you for looking!

Watch them jump and jiggle without feeling like a total creep.   Box 2.5 by 2.25 by 1.5 inches   Some minor wear to the box but otherwise great working condition. Be careful not to overwind the mechanism, they are almost 30 years old so wind...

The only appropriate way to cover your beer or soda bottle is with boobs.   Each bottle cap is approximately 3 inches tall and 1 inch in diameter    Some wear and crushing to the box but does not affect its hilarity   Thank you for...

With a face like that, how can you say no to him?   6.75 by 3 by 3 inches   Some wear and some stains but does not affect its hilarity    Thank you for looking!

We all knew this was true, push on his head for a pop up surprise.   Box 6.75 by 2.5 by 2 inches   Some significant wear and tear to the box and some stains on the toy but does not affect its hilarity    Thank you for looking!

I think Santa had way too much egg nog!   Toy is 6 by 2 by 2 inches   The plastic from the packaging is half detached to the card but toy is in great working condition    Thank you for looking!

Your wildest Santa sex fantasy can become a reality!   The photos show toy out of the packaging but you will get a toy that is still in the packaging.   Toy is 5.5 by 3.5 by 1.5 inches   Some wear to the packaging but toy in great working...

All the sexy naked men all the time! Attach it to your keys and never leave without it!   Camera is 2 by 1.5 by 1.5 inches   Some wear and scratches but does not affect its hilarity. Click carefully, the camera is over 30 years...

Look through the little hole for some of the finest ladies of the 80's.   Camera is 2 by 1.5 by 1.5 inches   Some wear and scratches but does not affect its hilarity. Click carefully, the camera is over 30 years old!   Thank you for...

This is the only appropriate cooking attire, built in sous chef included.   Laying flat Waist strap is 12 inches 6 inch rise   Unworn and new in packaging. Some slight wear due to age   Thank you for looking!

 Keep your king happy, show him he's royalty!   Laying flat 10 inch waist 9 inch rise   Unworn and new in packaging. Some slight wear due to age   Thank you for looking!

This is a vintage reproduction   A safety hat is what keeps this guy so jolly.   Box 3 by 1.75 by 1.5 inches   Some minor wear to the box but otherwise great condition. Be careful not to overwind   Thank you for looking!

Perfect for all kinds of sexy, cold needs!   Comes with one white ice cube tray.   Tray is 8.5 by 4.75 by .75 inches    Some wear to the packaging and tray but still an awesome gag!   Thank you for looking!

Perfect for all kinds of sexy, cold needs!   Comes with one yellow ice cube tray.   Tray is 8.5 by 4.75 by .75 inches    Some wear to the packaging and tray but still an awesome gag!   Thank you for looking!

Perfect for all kinds of sexy, cold needs!   Comes with one red ice cube tray.   Tray is 8.5 by 4.75 by .75 inches    Some wear to the packaging and tray but still an awesome gag!   Thank you for looking!

Finally a candle that turns on!   Candle is 7 inches tall 2.25 inch diameter    Some wear to the box but otherwise great vintage condition    Thank you for looking!

 This is the best way to keep your can feeling fresh and sexy!   Box 6 by 4.5 by 3 inches   Some wear and tear to the box but otherwise great vintage condition    Thank you for looking!

The 90's were just better, this is proof.   Camera is 3.5 by 2.5 by 2 inches   Some wear box but does not affect its hilarity    Thank you for looking!

This is a pet you wouldn't mind seeing all day everyday, it's probably very happy to see you too.   Box 4.5 by 4 by 3 inches Pet 2.5 inches tall   Some wear box but does not affect its hilarity    Thank you for looking!

Suck on these at your next party.   There are 6 straws   Straws are 7.75 inches long   Some minor wear to the packaging but otherwise great vintage condition    Thank you for looking!

These are the sexiest straws ever! They really do suck.   There are 6 straws   Straws are 7.75 inches long   Some minor wear to the packaging but otherwise great vintage condition    Thank you for looking!

Have a jolly good time, even in the dark!   Feet color will vary.   Box 2.75 by 1.75 by 1.5 inches   Some minor wear to the box but otherwise great working condition. Be careful not to overwind the mechanism, they are almost 30 years old...

Everyone needs a pecker that is ready for some jolly action!   Feet color will vary.   Box 2.75 by 1.75 by 1.5 inches   Some minor wear to the box but otherwise great working condition. Be careful not to overwind the mechanism, they are...

If you've ever felt like your glasses needed some extra support, these coasters are for you.   Box is 5 by 5 by 1.25 inches    The box has wear and tear and some staining on the coasters from age but still an awesome piece!   Thank...

If you have enough money to fill this coin purse, you are living large!   Box 6.25 by 3 by .75 inches  Stocking purse is about 40 inches long   Some minor wear but does not affect its hilarity   Thank you for looking!

Keep it locked up! Not meant to be worn, just for jokes.   Box 6.5 by 3.5 by 2 inches    The box is fairly worn and torn but does not affect its hilarity   Thank you for looking!

You think you're a super stud, but you're really a super dud.   Box 8 by 5 by 1.25 inches   Some wear to the box but does not affect its hilarity   Thank you for looking!

A sucker's delight!   Each bottle cap is 3 inches tall and 1 inch in diameter    Some wear to the box but does not affect its hilarity   Thank you for looking!

If it's anything else, do not disturb.   Packaging 9 by 5.75 inches   Some minor wear but does not affect its hilarity    Thank you for looking!

Especially when the mouse has you by the balls.   4 inches tall 3.25 inch diameter   Some very minor marks but all around great vintage condition   Thank you for looking!

Santa Claus is coming to town...   Works but Santa needs a little push to get him going.   3.75 by 1.5 by 1.25 inches   Some minor wear to the box but otherwise great working condition. Be careful not to overwind the mechanism, they are...

He ain't nothin' but a hound dog.   Works best when would an placed on flat surface.   3.75 by 1.5 by 1.25 inches   Some minor wear to the box but otherwise great working condition. Be careful not to overwind the mechanism, they are almost...

Wind them up and watch them go!   3.75 by 1.5 by 1.25 inches   Some minor wear to the box but otherwise great working condition. Be careful not to overwind the mechanism, they are almost 30 years old so wind gently.   Thank you for looking!

Are pussies always this jolly?    Feet color will vary.   Box 2.75 by 1.75 by 1.5 inches   Some minor wear to the box but otherwise great working condition. Be careful not to overwind the mechanism, they are almost 30 years old so...

She's such a lovely lady that Rose Marie.   Box 2.5 by 1 by .75 inches   Some wear and tear to the box but trick still works   Thank you for looking!

The doll nobody asked for but thank god it exists!   Doll is 8.5 inches tall Box 10 by 4.5 by 3 inches    Some wear and tear but it does not affect its hilarity   Thank you for looking!

It might be too late if the orgy has already started.   4 inches tall 3.25 inch diameter   Some very minor marks but all around great vintage condition   Thank you for looking!

Nothing says anniversary like a good swing.   4 inches tall 3.25 inch diameter   Some very minor marks but all around great vintage condition   Thank you for looking!

And there isn't a cure.   4 inches tall 3.25 inch diameter   Some very minor marks but all around great vintage condition   Thank you for looking!

There's so many jobs available today.   Listing is for ONE glass.   4 inches tall 3.25 inch diameter   Some very minor marks but all around great vintage condition   Thank you for looking!

Some people have long comings.   4 inches tall 3.25 inch diameter   Some very minor marks but all around great vintage condition   Thank you for looking!

But we could keep trying...   Listing is for 1 glass.   4 inches tall 3.25 inch diameter   Some very minor marks but all around great vintage condition   Thank you for looking!

I've always wanted to get screwed!   5 inches tall 2.75 inch diameter    Can is a little hard to open. Some marks and wear but still an amazing decorative novelty for any pop art lover!   Thank you for looking!

The hottest lipstick of the season!   Box 3.5 by .75 by .75 inches    Some minor wear to the box but does not affect its hilarity   Thank you for looking!

These really, really old condoms won't protect but are still pretty cool.   Unopened but condoms look to have disintegrated. Not for use!   Box 2 by 1.75 by 1 inches    Some minor wear to the box but does not affect its...

These are so old they are guaranteed to not prevent pregnancy.   Full box of 12. Not for use!   Box 4.75 by 2.5 by 1 inches    Some minor wear to the box but does not affect its hilarity   Thank you for looking!

Get people really talking, put a condom machine in your bathroom.   24 by 14 by 5 inches    This machine is in great grungy, rusty condition! It was hanging in a dive bar for most of its life.   All the coin mechanisms work as long as...

Put a condom machine in your house! The perfect conversation piece.   In working condition and set for .25 cents    30.5 by 7 by 4 inches    This machine is in great grungy, rusty condition! It was probably hanging in a dive bar...

This doll is meant to be put in a car dashboard. It might be a huge distraction...   6 by 2.5 by 2.5 inches    Some wear and marks and missing the base but still sits up. Definitely an awesome piece    Thank you for looking!

With fun raising action...   Box 7.5 by 2.25 by 1 inches   Some wear to the box and some wear to the mirror but does not affect its hilarity    Thank you for looking!

Have an Oedipus Complex?   Box at widest 7 by 3 by 3 inches   Some minor wear with a small crack at the spout, but still an awesome piece!   Thank you for looking!

The only was to make the office a fun place.   Box at widest 6 by 3 inches 6.5 inches tall   The bow must have fallen off at some point and was glued back on the wrong side. Some minor wear but otherwise great vintage condition   Thank you...

Let her help you get those hard to reach places.   14 inches long 3 inches wide   Some minor wear but otherwise great vintage condition   Thank you for looking!

Shoe accessories but make it sexy.   Box 8.25 by 1.25 by 1 inches    Some minor wear but otherwise great vintage condition   Thank you for looking!

I'll only use a coaster if it is nice to look at...   Box 7.5 by 6.5 by 2 inches  Each coaster opening 2.5 inch diameter    Some wear to the box and the coasters from age but does not affect its hilarity   Thank you for looking!

Please pass the salt... Now the pepper.   Box 4.5 by 3.5 by 2 inches  Shakers 3.75 by 1.5 by 1.5   Some wear to the box and the shakers from age but still completely useable and does not affect it's hilarity   Thank you for looking!

Distract everyone at poker night, you might finally win.   3.5 by 2.25 by .75 inches    Great vintage condition   Thank you for looking!

Okay...yeah...sure...   Box 5.25 by 2.25 by 2 inches    Some wear to the box but does not affect its hilarity   Thank you for looking!